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is there anyone there ?

This is just a test first post to see who if anyone is getting this. 

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Sunday 23rd March.I've been absent

I've neglected the blog. Its been a week. So much has happened but I've forgotten most of it. I should have started a record ! So quick summary. I watched one of my sons play rugby,played golf, done a small amount of drawing, watched TV a lot and tried to solve some more sudoku. I went along to the Rugby game with my daughter in law and grandson.  He was great and cheered me up a lot. I think my daughter in law may have been a little unsure of what to say and I didn't raise the subject in case I embarrassed her. She asked in the 2nd half though and it was good to explain. I got to their house early and had 45 mins with my son who was totally ok talking about it. I can see how it must be quite hard....very hard to talk to your father in law about his mental health though. She must have felt confident I was ok as she asked me to drive the car back home while my son stayed on after the game to celebrate their win. ( That gave me a little boost.) They are fighting r...
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53 summers, 2 to do. before release. (1) Thurs 14th March.

If I told you I was 53yrs old would you stop reading , would you think I was too old to be relevant ? would you say I'm too young maybe to know what life has got to thrown at me yet. I've not faced old age, aching bones and the like. Well I've passed my 53rd summer and as I write i'm approaching the 54th as spring starts to take a hold. I have four sons from two marriages. my first marriage was 7yrs and 3 sons. my second marriage has lasted considerably longer, now in its 25th year and that son , the youngest is 23yrs old.  I'm writing this to help me record everything that is happening to me,  as it seems to be getting away from me. You see i'm currently off work with PTSD. something that until literally 2-3 mths ago I thought only soldiers suffered from. I'm not a solider though.  I have one son who is and another who has been but I'm not and never have been. I applied, I failed. However I'm a Police Sergeant of 28yrs service with 2 to do  ...
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Where have I been

So much has happened that I even forgot about this blog. I logged in to update another blog I have and found this. I obviously cant give you any kind of record since my last entry. However my latest is that I'm back at work , have been since June and its going ok. I have the odd moment of doubt , in fact quite a bit. I'm doing the job exactly as before. I'm a Police Officer and despite asking  welfare to write me a support plan that excludes attending anything too emotional , I was at a suicide on my third day. I've been to others too but also whilst attending a conference in plain clothes and plain car was first on scene at ANOTHER DOUBLE fatal. At least this time they weren't children. not that that makes much difference to the family. Then a few weeks later I was at the scene of a double death when two men were found dead together. I don't want to give too many details but its isn't believed to be suspicious. Then between those two jobs I basic...
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