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is there anyone there ?

This is just a test first post to see who if anyone is getting this. 

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Where have I been

So much has happened that I even forgot about this blog. I logged in to update another blog I have and found this. I obviously cant give you any kind of record since my last entry. However my latest is that I'm back at work , have been since June and its going ok. I have the odd moment of doubt , in fact quite a bit. I'm doing the job exactly as before. I'm a Police Officer and despite asking  welfare to write me a support plan that excludes attending anything too emotional , I was at a suicide on my third day. I've been to others too but also whilst attending a conference in plain clothes and plain car was first on scene at ANOTHER DOUBLE fatal. At least this time they weren't children. not that that makes much difference to the family. Then a few weeks later I was at the scene of a double death when two men were found dead together. I don't want to give too many details but its isn't believed to be suspicious. Then between those two jobs I basic...
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Sunday 23rd March.I've been absent

I've neglected the blog. Its been a week. So much has happened but I've forgotten most of it. I should have started a record ! So quick summary. I watched one of my sons play rugby,played golf, done a small amount of drawing, watched TV a lot and tried to solve some more sudoku. I went along to the Rugby game with my daughter in law and grandson.  He was great and cheered me up a lot. I think my daughter in law may have been a little unsure of what to say and I didn't raise the subject in case I embarrassed her. She asked in the 2nd half though and it was good to explain. I got to their house early and had 45 mins with my son who was totally ok talking about it. I can see how it must be quite hard....very hard to talk to your father in law about his mental health though. She must have felt confident I was ok as she asked me to drive the car back home while my son stayed on after the game to celebrate their win. ( That gave me a little boost.) They are fighting r...
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Monday 18th March. There is no script.

So i'm sat here with my wife who is watching "Baptiste" a cop programme. She has had the day off and has tomorrow off too. I had a scan to go to this morning so I convinced my wife to go out shopping without me. She went to York with her mum. I had the scan then headed to a friends house for a chat and a drink. I veered away though and found myself just heading towards the Jcn 32 shopping centre. I thought I needed some beach footwear. I ended up buying three shirts. I also ended up sat alone with a cup of tea and food and feeling horribly alone. My mood plummeted as I saw how my life might be if my wife wasn't there for any reason.  She had text and called me numerous times to ask how I was and I gave the usual answer of being okay. Which is true to some extent of course. The tv programme is coming to a conclusion and Baptiste has the top crook on the ropes. He's broken every rule in the book to get there. If I was a tv programme I'd simply write tha...
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